Dreadful

I'm tired. I really am. 

You out of all people am definitely oblivious to the situation today. I've been told not to hate you, not to hate those decisions that you've made and try to look it at another prospective. But i just couldn't. I really tried. She told me something i didn't want to know, something that i had been trying to accept but once she told that matter to me, it just sank right down to the bottom. Never. Never had i felt like blaming God why, why is this even happening to me? I really tried and i'm beyond tired. 

I know you really tried to make ends meet but no matter how much you try, it's never gonna happen. I can't look it from your prospective. It's just ... impossible; outright impossible. And here i am trying to make myself feel better by typing it all out but it just doesn't. How am i suppose to be happy? Or worst still, thankful. 

Can't you see how much, how much i hated today? I swear i'm not the only one. Yes, i'm selfish, i only care about what i feel yea yea i get it. But why don't you ask yourself, 

WHY ARE YOU THAT SELFISH IN THE FIRST PLACE?!

I know you're tired too. I know and i've been told to accept it way back and i do. But i realise now that i couldn't, no matter how much i tried. Try harder? I tried a zillion times. I just can't see the things you see. I just want to say, i'm sorry. I'm sorry if this will hurt you but i really am. It'll never be the same again. Never.