burden

Second week of sem 2 is over and i'm exhausted already. :( 

Now that i'm in poly, i realised how much i really missed being in secondary school. Dang. I missed eating breakfast secretly during lessons, going out for lunch with Jocelyn after school, going to Gwen's house after school to slack, disturbing my classmates during lessons and so much more. Really. Those were the times that i really am grateful for. For those who were there when i needed someone and those who would always lend a helping hand without thinking twice. *sigh* 

I'm quite fortunate to be able to meet those lunatics HEHEHEHEHEHE. So glad. They make me realised how much i missed them and the real meaning of 'true friends.' 

Anyway.. i just received a news that one of my fellow mayflowerian junior passed away due to a car accident. My condolence to her family and friends. I may not know her well but she's someone i met and talked to a little in school since we're both student leaders. Something that distinguish her from others was her 'billion dollar smile.' (as what i would called it) Her smile was so... how do i say it. A smile that would brighten up someone's day? To me, she always has this 'happy go lucky' attitude even on difficult circumstances. It's just... hard to take all these information in. 1 minute she was there and the next she wasn't. But i'm sure she's in a better place now. She doesn't need to suffer anymore, with all those strange looking tubes that were inserted to her body. She won't be here physically but she'll always remain in our hearts. Rest in peace and thank you, for being such a cheerful girl Vernise. You'll always be remembered.

If anyone saw a fatal road accident on 19th Oct (Fri) at 8.05am, along Punggol Road (at the traffic junction in front of Blk 264A) please contact the police at 1800-547 1818 to assist with their investigation with any form of leads. 

Thank you.

 'When you lose someone, the world still turns, the stars still shine and the wheels of time move inexorably on...but somewhere deep within your soul, a small part of you dies. '

Ugly duckling

4 years and 9 months since... 

I didn't want to think about it. About all these. About those moments that were never meant to happened in the first place. To be frank, i would definitely be a laughing stock if i told anyone else about this with the exception of prolly 2-3 people who knew. I really don't know if i should cry cause i'm too pitiful or laugh cause i'm just too dumb. It was never supposed to happened. I shouldn't have let it. I prolly shouldn't have let go too. But i guess.. it's all well. Right? 

Perhaps in the past, i was too childish, too immature. Didn't appreciate what's in front of me, what has been done for me. Thinking back, i really lost it. I really. really want to talked to you again tho i always tell myself it's too much for me to handle. And even if i did, will you be there? I doubt so. You've moved on, and i should too right? But why. After so many years, i'm still the only one hanging on? Why? Am i just too dumb to realise that fact that you've moved on. Perhaps, found someone who's so much better than me. Someone that understands you so well, someone that could lend you her shoulder when you need someone to lean on? I think i know perfectly who is it. It's your... 

Best Friend. 

Right? 

I should have expected it tho. I mean, i'm just typing nonsense hoping it's not true but who cares really. I don't. I don't wanna know. I don't wanna see it. I really don't. 

I wanna erase everything. Everything that has to do with you. You've moved on, and now its my turn. Not because i'm forced to, rather, i think its time to let my heart realise that you won't be there anymore. 

Hopefully. Hopefully i'll find someone who could really be there for me. 

To you, pig (if you're ever looking at this) 

I guess it's time? Though it's been rocky, i appreciate what you've done for me. I really do. Maybe i'm just too late to realised it. But i really do. Thank you. Thank you for tolerating my nonsense, my anger, my... so many things. Haha, i doubt you even know about this post but anyways. I miss you. so much. and i'm letting go now. Be happy ok? :) 

From your forever and ever donkey.

Truth? Nah.

Listen. 

Listen to the voices of the people. 

Is that what we want? Do you think it's going to benefit us? Everything you said two days ago, does it calm us down, does it make us feel more reassured? 

Frankly speaking, no. 20 years ago, they work their ass off in whatever means to protect this little red dot. We wouldn't have this without their hard work, we wouldn't have this privilege to be one of the top richest country and surely we wouldn't be here without them. Yes, 20 years have passed but are we; the real citizens happy and proud? Proud to be one of the world's top richest country and proud to be a Singaporean? Are we? Am I? I wasn't born 20 years ago, but as a citizen, a human being, i have the rights to say whatever that comes to my mind, no? 

I'm worried. Worried that once i've graduated, do i have a chance to get into a local university? Or will the chances go over to those imported foreign talents who are being treated like royalties here? Will the school fees for universities gets higher and higher every year? Will my parents be able to afford to pay? Why? 

Why is it so expensive for us while it's free for some FTs? They get free studying, free place to live and what do they do to contribute to the country exactly? Many left, either back to their 'real country' or to other western universities that are more renown. Those who stayed and become a citizen, i applaud you guys. It's my home yet it doesn't feel like it. Why? 

Yes, there are a few cases whereby we noticed the bad things bout' foreigners and forget about the good things that they've done. But if YOU guys were to be like ordinary citizens that took buses or mrts to work/school or an employee in the office or a student studying in schools, you would prolly see more of the bad things rather than the good ones. Why is it that we, the real citizens needs to accommodate to their needs/wants? If they wanna live here, shouldn't they respect and change their lifestyles to accommodate to us?  Sigh. 

I'm just utterly disappointed and upset. But what can i do? I'm just a student with no political power and well too bad, i'm not a foreign talent huh. Well.. at least i know many of the locals are in line with me. I guess.. time will tell? :)  

The aftermath

Hello Earthlings. :) 

Hehehe, it's been such such such a long period of time since i've last posted. Not trying to make it seem as though i'm really busy but really. BUSSSSSSSY. Heh. 

Currently having my semester break (i guess) for bout' 6 or 7 weeks? Hmm mm. Papers just ended yesterday and dang, am definitely sure that i'm not gonna do well for it. 3 papers back to back wasn't my cup of tea, neither was it for people who took the same papers as me. Had countless sleepless nights, dark circles, foul mood and what so ever. Thankfully it's all gone now and yesssss, i'm spending my first holiday blogging to make up for the absence. Was initially going out with sis but due to some reasons, i'm sitting in front of my computer blogging, facebooking, twittering, blogshopping and oh, watching a new drama called 'Ghost.' 

Was never a fan of kdramas, believe me. Oh wait, except for prolly Dong yi; by far the best historical drama and still the best drama for me. Dang it. Really dislike it when all those dramas portray the same old concept that either woman are always useless, guy falls in love with girl but girl falls in love with another guy (triangle lurb?), or someone close to the main characters have to die. ALWAYS. Tell me if  you guys got a really really good drama regardless whether it's japanese, korean or better still, hong kong. I really need it right now, to make up for my deprive computer using time. Pffffft. 

Heh, oh! And i've got my SW maroon shirt liaoxz. Hohoho. Love wearing it since it's kinda y'know nice and making people envy of my course. HAHA. Ok, that doesn't sound good. But yea, am loving my course so far and my classmates. :) Bunch of funny kuku nuggets that i just can't get enough of. Tho there are definitely times where i'm extremely pissed at some of them for like not doing their parts in projects and being too arrogant of themselves. But still, we're gonna as a class for 3 years and it's just the starting! Whoopy, gonna enjoy my poly days to the fullest. 

Okeh dokeh, gonna watch my drama now! HEEEEEEEEEEEH. See ya! 

Mentally and physically, broken

Hey'yall! Hehe, my holidays just started todaaaaaaaaaaaay, *yipeeeeee* but it's gonna end soon though, in 2 weeks time and i'm back to my usual hectic poly life. *sigh* Photos above was taken with my favourite tuna whom i haven't seen in ages. (okay la, maybe only a few months but still, hehe) Caught up with her and like what girls usually do, we gossip. Opps. Haha. 

Ok, so.. my papers are over and yep, i've received my results for Marketing and Effective Writing. Was extremely pleased with my marketing while effective writing is a cow. Never hated English that badly until this year. Wah seriously no joke. I did studied k. It's just that when i received the paper, my mind was like totally blank and having Vienna sitting beside me is not a good sign. I can literally listen to her scribbling and yea, she's writing so fast i panic so badly along with Prema. HAHA. Oh, the horror. And.. i didn't finished my paper? Yea, round 3-4 questions. :/ Boo hoo hoo. And i'm having another effective writing test after my 2 weeks break. What the cow. I'm so gonna copy from someone k. Hmph. 

Besides that, i'm so gonna fail sports science, can go bang wall liao la. 

I saw the 2nd page and was like 'What the cow? NEED TO STUDY THIS MEH?! *PANIC MODE - ON*' Yea. 

Turn to the 3rd page, 'Uh....... okay la, i think i know a few.' 

Last page, 'WHAT IS THIS?! WAH PIANG, FREAKING 6 MARKS.' 

So uhm yea. And it's 30% (oh someone just stab me now) 

I'm so tired naooooooooooooooooooooo, goodnight! Hehehe. Will try to post again by this weekend! :)

The powerpack week

Helloooooooooxz. :) Heh. 

This week has been a total nightmare and i totally regretted not studying much for effective writing. I know i'm definitely gonna get a extremely bad grade for it and yes, it's all my fault, can't blame anyone. *sigh* :( 

Marketing however, was quite smooth and yes, i'm praying hard to get a high grade for it. Can't believe time flies so fast and it's like May and it's gonna be June soon. I'm really thankful to God that my poly life have been quite good so far though there are times when i couldn't stand the situation and my mood turns really sour. I've been really trying hard to do my best in everything i could but really; there are times when i can't. Times when situation turns for the worst, *bam* that's when i really feel like strangling someone. 

Talked to my lovely W515 mates bout' this particular situation and i'm really, extremely thankful that they even bother listening to my ranting. Thank you! :) Well.. after hearing what most of them say, i guess i must be more understanding and not to judge people that easily. Things might probably change and 3 years down the road, i might be good friends with people i'm not comfortable with now. Funny huh. I just can't imagine it. Haha! Nevertheless, i'm just gonna give it a try and see how it works. Not that i never tried before, it's just that my efforts always went down the drain and i'm completely forgotten. *sigh* 

Speaking bout' this, i can't stand my temper. (IKR x_o) I'm always flaring up just cause of a small issue and my face will be like 'black' in a sense and my mood is totally ruin probably for the rest of the day. Really need to control it and try to be more forgiving. Everyone of us is not perfect and we definitely have flaws hence more forgiving. 

Oh, and Happy Mother's Day to all mothers out there! :) 

Fatty bom bom

Went over to Fat Boy for dinner with my lovely Gwen, Edward, Ches and Derrek! I ate Wimpy beef burger and had to treat them to a $7 strawberry thick malt shake. Really thick. Wanted to pick the vanilla flavour but that gwen doesn't like it hence strawberry since me and chay didn't want chocolate. Haha! Maaaaan, i missed them so much. Kept on talking and throwing out all those nonsense that happened to us whether we liked it or not. Camwhore like nobody's business and people were staring since they were outside queuing trying to get a seat inside. Opps. Heheh, left shortly after eating and headed over to the famous beancurd. And derrek decided to treat us since he's going to the army in a few weeks times which means it's gonna be hard to meet up with him :/ Thank you for the beancurd and i'm gonna miss you!! Hehe. Take care of yourself in army k derrek! Hope to see you soon!! :) 

Aww man, having 2 ICAs next week and i'm so lazy + tired to do my marketing project which is due like  -what, on thurs? Ugh, someone just punch me. And effective writing is a piece of cow. What the heck. Okay, shall not rant so much. I'm gonna need to score well for these 2 modules and yessssss! I'm gonna do it! YAY. Hehe, okay short post today, am heading to bed for beauty sleep soon! :)